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I Learned the Most About Leadership By Not Leading

January 23, 2018Frances L. Jordan

“The real man smiles in trouble, gathers strength from distress, and grows brave by reflection.” – Thomas Paine

Self- Evaluation
Self-Discovery
Self-Reflection
*yawns*

Are you one of those people who likes reading self-help books? Or the kind of person who takes hours during the week or month to stop and think about how you can do things better or become
a better person?

Well, this article might not be for you.

There are people who don’t like to read self-help books, either by choice or because the busyness of life, they don’t stop and reflect (and by they, I really mean we, because I am guilty
as charged) ….This post is for you.

For me, I am guilty of being a true energizer bunny, and my goal is to just keep going and going and going…. Rarely, do I stop and take breath or pause for a moment to reflect.

But back in 2016, I made a big step, and did just this for over a year.

I stepped back from holding a leadership position for the first time in my life in over 15 years. I made this decision in February of 2016 when I realized, that for more than 15 years, I was in some capacity leading a group of youth or adults in some way. I gave myself permission to stop. And boy was it the right thing to do. I was right, I am following others, and learning so much more about being a leader than I had in the two previous years.

It is important to learn that although you are capable of leading, allowing others to lead you and absorb their knowledge is a part of the process. If I didn’t stop to smell the roses, I would have missed out on some important nuggets that not only will make me a better leader, but ultimately a better person for those around me. Along the way, I learned a couple of other things that are going to help become a better leader:

  • Patience – I need more of it
  • Discipline – I need more of it
  • Listening – I need to do more of it

The last point is clearly something that I was vastly aware of. I am always trying to talk less and listen, but taking the time to step back and see how I was behaving. I need to make this a reality, what’s the point of knowing you need to fix something and not improving it. Therefore, I am intentionally listening more, because I have learn the best leaders listen more than they talk at important times.

I noticed that I needed more patience and discipline in almost every area of my life. I needed to build a little stamina in both of these areas to be a little better and a little more productive. Although product of the millennial generation that is in love with instant gratification, this doesn’t change the fact that some things take time and you have to work hard to achieve your goals. And that’s what I want to leave with you today. Being a good leader takes time. You can be an overnight success, but for many of us, it’s a process like anything else, it takes time.

Learn.
Grow.
Practice.
Evaluate.
Adjust. (and then repeat)

Tags: Leadership
Frances L. Jordan
Previous post Cheers to 2017! Next post Become a NegotiatHer: An Interview with Lauren Hasson

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