A lot of people think that they hate networking. Or at least, they’re uncomfortable with it.
Maybe it feels too fake. Or you don’t think you’ll ever hear from the people you meet again. Maybe you have no idea what to say.
Whatever the case, ‘Hello, nice to meet you, here’s my card,’ and moving on, doesn’t cut it.
It doesn’t have to be that way, nor should it.
5 Steps to Networking with Sincerity
Networking is about building relationships; not amassing a collection of dusty business cards. And as in any good relationship, networking with sincerity is key.
So, how exactly do you execute this?
1. Be open-minded
First things first: get yourself in the door. Help to counter the awkward feelings by approaching the event without expectations. Instead of focusing on what you expect to dislike, get curious about what you might enjoy.
Who could you meet? What might you learn? Let things happen and watch where they go.
After all, everyone is there for the same reason. And you’re not alone if you feel a little uncomfortable.
If it’s hard for you, don’t avoid networking altogether – just take it slow. Bring a friend to your first networking event. Make a goal of having a conversation with two people, or saying ‘hello’ to ten. Do more as you build confidence.
2. Be yourself
There’s no need to act outgoing if you’re an introvert, or to pretend you’re quiet if you’re truly gregarious. People can sense when you aren’t being real. To form true connections, you have to be yourself.
Part of the discomfort that so many feel in networking settings comes from the idea that you have to put on a show. You don’t. Be polite, use manners, and dress for the occasion, but don’t be somebody that you’re not.
If talking about yourself is hard, plan ahead! Create an elevator pitch: something succinct to say when you get the inevitable ‘so what do you do?’ (Pro tip: say it out loud a few times beforehand to make sure it sounds natural). Get comfortable sharing your background, interests, personal experiences.
Personal conversations are fine – in fact, they’re a great way to connect and build strong foundations. Believe it or not, they do lead to business. Plus, they make you memorable – Angie from your dream company won’t forget the 15 minutes spent talking about your mutual love of Toni Morrison. Memorable conversations can lead to trust and that little extra oomph for someone to go out of their way to help you, even if it is down the road.
3. Be patient
In an authentic, sincere environment, networking isn’t a one-and-done thing.
Not everyone will become part of your network. Some people won’t show interest in what you have to offer. Some people won’t ‘click’ with you. And that’s okay.
Relationships will form, but there’s no set timetable for this to happen. You could meet someone several times before you have that conversation that really sparks something. You could meet someone and not have any business opportunities with them for a year or more. But when the time comes, the connection is there.
Consider this: you worked with Amy for 3 years, until she got a better position at a new company. To your surprise, two years later she calls, asking you to take a management role in her department. Those positive interactions from your time as co-workers, the inside jokes, led her to think of you after all this time – and you didn’t even see it coming.
4. Be generous!
If you remember anything about networking, let it be this: always begin as the giver, without any expectation of getting something in return.
Approach each new person with the question, ‘how can I help?’ Look for ways you can contribute to their success. Maybe you have the exact skills they need to complete a special project. Maybe, just talking is enough.
You can give value to people in a lot of ways. Start by truly, actively listening to them. Ask them questions. When you show genuine interest in what someone has to say, it can go a long way in cementing a relationship.
This isn’t to say you’ll never get anything out of networking yourself. People will be more apt to do things for you when they like you, or you have already done something for them.
“When you put others in front of yourself, whether intended or unintended, things just happen. It’s magical.” – Gary Vaynerchuck.
5. Be a part of something
Beyond the occasional events that may be held in your area, joining a professional group is a great way to build your network. It gives you the opportunity to build up relationships organically, over time. You make friends and connections that happen to also be professionals in your city. And you know that you already have at least one or two things in common with them by having joined the same group.
Groups like the Young Women’s Alliance don’t just make it easy to meet other professionals, either. They provide volunteering opportunities and social events. They help you gain fresh perspectives and ideas — both professional and personal. They help you to become more involved in your community than you may have thought possible.
And You’re Off
The truth is, nobody does anything alone, even when it feels that way. To build a business, get into a new field, or grow in your current company, you need other people on your side.
Anything worth having is worth working for. Networking with sincerity and deliberate attention will help your network grow and flourish over time.
