Professional Networking Tips: Network to Connect, Not Keep Score

“My Golden Rule of Networking is simple: Don’t keep score.” — Harvey Mackay

I have a love hate relationship with networking. At times, I truly enjoy connecting and meeting new people, and value my interactions. At other times, I feel like a ball of fakeness, and want to roll myself right out of the room. Not to mention, thinking about networking intentionally used to make me feel quite icky; avoiding networking events in hopes that I was being a good millennial and network “organically”, because that’s the only real way to do it …. key in the *eye roll*

Tips for Better Networking

Truthfully, there is not a wrong way to network if you are getting out there in your community, industry, passion or connecting via online/digital platforms. But there are better ways to network at times, and I want to share a few ideas to think about when you’re networking. Now, these are not written steps to do, because networking doesn’t work that way. Think of networking as a cover letter, it needs to be tailored to the audience and it is not always the same. You don’t have to do a lot of work, but putting a little effort is worth it.

1. Define your purpose.

This shouldn’t come as a shock, but let’s first ask ourselves why are you networking?

• Job?
• Friends?
• Dating?
• Venture Capital Funding?
• Switch industries for your career?
• Happenstance? (no real agenda)
• And the list goes on…

The first step is to identify why you want to network. There are a variety of reasons, but identifying your purpose will in turn help you not only enjoy your night of networking, but it will improve your interactions with others. Networking isn’t just about you. It is important to recognize your purpose so that when others make their purpose known to you, you can navigate better. If you have 2 hours at an event, and you’re a writer, no need to talk to the marine biologist all night. (I have met a marine biologist at a networking event – no lie). Once you know why you are there, you can research the organization or company putting on the event, look at the guest list and select at least 5 people that you’d like to meet or work on your particular elevator speech the evening. This will allow you to have a productive evening and walk away with business cards and new connections in hand.

If you’re not sold that being intentional is important, explore what I like to call Happenstance networking. That is, go to a networking event without a purpose. I firmly believe you can only do this a couple of times without getting bored or realizing that you have to have a purpose. Give it a try.

2. Don’t be fake.

One of the bigger fears of networking is the self-inflicted phobia that if you are “intentional” when networking, you are being fake and you’re looking to get something out of it. The reality is that you should be getting something out of it and do not be ashamed of it. I have found successful people want to share knowledge and help others – your intention excites their desire to inspire. They receive joy by questions and new ideas. What seems fake is appearing to be starstruck and over complimenting a person that you admire. Most likely, they were in your position at one point in time, if you are prepared, you will have prepared questions or thoughts to share creating an engaging conversation for both of you to enjoy.

3. Determine your follow-up game.

As you interact, determine what would be your potential next steps. Now, when I was younger and less familiar with the landscape, I followed up with almost every single person. Don’t be afraid to kiss a little frogs, but follow-up with every single person. I wasn’t sure of which interactions would prove to be most fruitful. This is why research and being intentional is important. You will want to identify peers and mentors that you want to build relationships with, and follow-up with those people as you meet them.

But the biggest takeaway I can leave you with is: don’t say you are going to follow-up unless you are planning to. It is better to run into that person a second and third time before you make this promise than make it prematurely.

I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes about networking that hones in on this idea of being intentional. Your network needs to be vast and diverse to assist you to be the best informed you!

“Instead of better glasses, your network gives you better eyes.” — Ronald Burt